Choices

The fan is blowing cool air around the room. Kilmeny is sleeping in her playpen, Jared is practicing and I'm here, writing. I have a mug half-full of tea beside me. It's quiet. It's the end of the another day. 

A day that started with a jack hammer right outside our window. That woke me up. As I groggily realized that it was morning, I was further awakened by someone swearing at the jack hammer operator. And it was then that I knew I had a choice. I had a choice to be grumpy about being woken up like that or I could embrace this new day and all that it held. I chose the latter. 

It's an invigorating choice. And a choice I had to make all day long. 

I was busy most of the day in the kitchen, baking. I'm planning to sell baking to the members of the orchestra that Jared is part of this summer. And if all goes well, I'll be preparing and selling lunches on order as well. 

At one point, we made a spontanous outing to pick up a music stand and some kitchen stuff for me. This kitchen is furnished but in a very basic fashion. I needed some cooling racks and a rolling pin. It was 30 second decision. I smiled, turned off the oven, grabbed Kilmeny and we were out the door. I laughed all the way to the van. It was so freeing. Just to go like that. Not to question. But just to answer, 'I'd love to go with you!' 

There was a concert to perform at tonight. I didn't go. I went last night. There were more cookies to bake and buns to make. I got the kitchen all cleaned up and the last batch of cookies in the oven. I do crazy things sometimes. Like starting buns after baking all afternoon because 'it makes sense since the oven is already on and homemade buns would be so nice with our hamburgers tomorrow'. Yeah, okay. Just call me crazy already.

Then Jared got home. A lot earlier then we both expected. I thought it would be another late night and had planned on filling my evening with stuff but here he was home! We talked, updated each other on our evenings thus far and made plans for the evening that we now would both spend at home. I found out that my buns were totally in vain as he has an orchestra dinner tomorrow night. That was kinda anti-climatic. So my hamburger bun dough quickly became overnight cinnamon rolls. They'll be hot and fresh for tomorrow's breakfast along with a mango/banana smoothie. Okay, I love that idea. What a brilliant change of plans. Take the buns out of the fridge, go for a run, bake them while we shower. Nice. 

  

Life is always changing. Things don't remain the same. There is always a choice to enjoy the life that is. 

And for us, creamsicle milkshakes is definitely part of enjoying life tonight.

I'm choosing to enjoy these moments. Again. And again.

three things that are making me smile today

thing #1: I found this picture of Grama & Papa on our desktop. It makes me smile to see their smile and their faces. They are very dear to me. 

thing #2: the prospect of purchasing flowers at the Farmer's Market  and the thought of buying all those fresh vegetables and fruit. Fresh, local, colorful! It's just a walk away and will become part of my Tuesday routine. =)

thing #3: the sound of Kilmeny's hands as she explores her (new to us for only $8! more about my garage sale adventure coming!) playpen and the delight this little girl brings to my life

 What's making you smile today?

This post is linked to Gratituesday. Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

updated at 3:27pm: I went to the Farmer's Market as planned and got some gerbera daisies as planned but  I got more daisies for less. I only had $4 in change left to spend and I really wanted to at least get a couple daises. The nice lady at the flower stand gave me 5 daisies and some ferns for the four dollars I had. And they were firsts so they'll last longer. I love gerbera daisies and it was so special that she would do that for me!

if you want to make some cookies...

....you need to start with a bowl.

You need to blend the sugars, eggs, vanilla and butter together;

if the whisk doesn't work, you'll have to use your hands. 

To make them really yummy, you should add some chocolate and some cashews. Chop them up so the chocolately goodness permeates throughout the cookie dough. 

Then you need to add the flour, salt and baking soda. You can add the chocolate and cashews now. 

Mix it all together. Try not to eat too much. Form the dough into little balls. 

Bake at 350. It's just a little before 400 on the oven dial. 

Bake them for 8 minutes, just long enough for the chocolate to get gooey. 

Then make some tea. Find a friend. And eat cookies together. 

the end.

St. Joseph's on a Monday Night

There we were, surrounded by many people who were waiting just like us. We had been through the process of telling the nurse what my problem was, filling out the paperwork and now we were waiting to actually see a doctor. 

It was St. Joseph's on a Monday night. 

I had fainted a week earlier and had had some convulsions while I was out. Jared shook me awake and I was fine, or so I thought. But then I started getting headaches and wondered if it was related. I called the health line, described my symptons to the helpful nurse. She said I should be checked out. So we made plans to visit the hospital. 

My previous experience with emergency rooms has been quite different. One time we actually called the doctor as we were leaving our house to make sure he would be at the hospital to stitch my brother's head. There's never really been a wait. I guess small towns have their advantages. 

We waited. We talked quietly together. We got our hopes when my name was called but all it was just to take my blood pressure, again, and to explain what had happened, again. We waited some more. Kilmeny fell asleep. She woke up. I fed her. We waited. 

Jared ended up taking Kilmeny home so she could get a proper sleep and we would stay in touch via cell phone. Which I said I had so it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Except that I didn't have it. It was still in the van, from when I had used it earlier. I distinctly remember leaving it in the van because I thought 'it'll be a quick visit, I won't need it'. Famous last thoughts. 

I settled myself in for the wait. Since we came before supper (thinking we'd be home to eat it), and it was now close to 11pm, I was feeling faint. I availed myself of the 2nd Cup and ordered a raspberry muffin and coffee. Irish Cream Classic. The muffin wasn't exactly abounding in raspberries but the coffee was good. By that time, pretty much anything would have been good. I perused all the magazines on the waiting room table and can now recommend  what you should do with your toddlers and why you should eat oatmeal and other helpful information like that while sipping my Irish Cream Classsic. 

I made friends with the little boy and his mom beside me. We chatted about the hockey game. He was there for an injury during a soccer game. I talked with an elderly lonely Greek who was there because of a wax buildup. He had been held by the Germans for 22 months during World War II. He said the Germans were more efficient at giving medical help.

Then a hero walked in. He was carrying a baby. He came to save me from being alone any longer. He also came to see if I was okay since I was not answering my phone. I made a resolution then and there to always call some how if I don't have my phone. Borrow a stranger's, ask for change, do something desperate. Poor guy. Kilmeny cried for a long time (which she doesn't normally do), I wasn't answering my phone, and then he got caught in a downpour on his way back to the hospital. He rode a taxi the rest of the way. 

Then we waited some more. Together. 

And then, I saw the doctor. I described what had happened to me. He did a few tests to confirm that everything was okay with my brain. I passed them. Just so you know. 

And then we did some fun hospital stuff like a pregnancy test, blood work, IV, CT scan and waited some more. (We're not pregnant. I thought I would tell you  so you don't have to wonder and feel awkward about asking.)

And waited some more for the results of the scan. In front of the nurses station. Until 5 am. 

We had to be told twice that we could go home because we were so tired. 

We got home and put Kilmeny to bed. And then I cried for a bit on my man's shoulder. He held me and told me that everything was going to be okay. And we slept. 

It wasn't an experience I'd like to repeat again but it brought us closer together, made us cherish each other more and forget all the little things that creep in over time. It made us more aware of God and the intricate details of our lives that He cares about and the fact that He knows what is best for us.

Girl Stuff

I'm Thankful for:

my Father God who only allows what is best for my life and does what is good, so that I may become more like Him;

my amazing husband who loves me, cherishes me, protects me and makes my heart pound faster;

my sweet baby girl who sleeps in her ergo amidst light and noise;

free health care and knowledgeable hospital staff;
friendly people despite stressful situations;

sleeping in my own bed;
and being able to enjoy life!

Yes, there's a story. And yes, it will make its way on here. =)

photo: one of my all-time favorite pictures of J and I, in New Zealand

Blessed

I realized just how blessed I am today. I made a batch of granola, from scratch, without even really thinking about. Pour oats into a bowl, chop almonds, add some sunflower seeds, make a coating, stir, and bake. Simple. I've been making granola since I was at least 10. And before that I was helping my Mom. 

After the granola was finished, I made dinner. I had fresh ciabatta buns from our local bakery, some chicken, a fridge full of veggies, and some feta cheese. I got creative and enjoyed every minute of making dinner. We had Greek Chicken Ciabattas, organic blue corn chips with guacamole and lemonade slush.

Can I say yum?!

I didn't really think twice about any of the meal preparations I did today. I just, did them. I was so blessed to grow up in a house where my Mom made all the meals and she trained my sisters and I as she cooked. Because of that she hasn't needed to cook for a number of years. She was always there to help us as we learned how to separate eggs, how to tell when the cream is whipped enough, how to make gravy. 

I've been realizing that not every girl has this advantage. The place that we are living in right now is a furnished apartment but it has only the very basics in the kitchen. I used an egg poacher to measure tonight, it worked. She obviously isn't one who spends a lot of time in the kitchen. Whether that's because of her lack of training or busyness or lack of confidence, I don't know but it was an eye-opener to me. I take a lot of things for granted because that's what is familiar to me and it seems like basic life knowledge. 

I started feeling a little sorry for the people who didn't learn to cook at home. My mind jumped to possibilities, I could hold cooking classes and make a fortune and invest in all those people's lives....yes, I do have a tendency to a 'Mother Theresa' response sometimes. I think it's a girl thing. 

I used to want to own a cute little cafe where people could come, sip some coffee or tea or something else, much on something yummy, savor something sweet and be refreshed. I got distracted in how I was going to decorate it more then how I was going to outfit the kitchen. That's when I realized I could do the same at home, without the overhead. 

I'll start with having people over. Like tomorrow night. With some friends of Jared's from back home that are also out here. I think I'll serve them pizza with a fresh greek salad and ice- cream cake. Do you think they will like it?