To my Girlies

Oh, my girls....

Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how much richer you have made my life? Do you know the tears I shed over you, wanting to be a good mom, wanting to do the absolutely best for you?

Do you know that I will be the mama bear if anyone dares hurt you?

You fill my days with so much. I laugh at those who ask what on earth I do all day. Don't they know? Silly people. 

You are my canvases. You are my great life work. 

There is so much to teach you. The art of dressing well (which let's be honest, I'm still figuring out), knowing that flats go with dresses and skinnies. Your sneakers are for jeans. But sometimes, Kilmo you  show me your sense of style and totally rock your converse with leggings and a skirt. I love it. 

The delight in making and enjoying food. It's a gift to be enjoyed slowly and with care. Even if its just peanut butter and jam by the duck pond. 

And there is so much you teach me. That life is beautiful when we are together. That laughing together is the best antidote to grumpy days. 

You both love to dance and we've been dancing a lot lately. You know exactly how to get your current  favorite song on my phone and we twirl around the kitchen, to the sound of the British boys singing about beauty. 

I will always be here to hold your hand and then to let you go as you walk. 

You are loved, my princesses. 

Mummy

In which my Khaira-baby turns One!

Khaira Tatiana Monique,

You're one today, baby girl. Crazy how fast a year goes. You were so little, so new and needy. My little blue-eyed baby, looking so much like your Daddy. 

Your blue eyes sparkle most of the time, your smile makes everyone else smile. 

We've shared lots of time together, you and I. Lots of cuddle time late at night, lots of walking in the living room, lots of crying for you and me both. 

And now you're growing up, sleeping by yourself and happy, so very happy. 

You love being close to me more then anyone else and I love that. 

Always stay close, baby girl. Always keep that sparkle alive, stay close to mama but stay closer to God. He will be your Rock and your safe place. 

We're so happy you're part of our family. You are loved and treasured. 

Happy Birthday, little princess! 

 

Jammies and Rubber Duckies

It was a Saturday night. I was busy bathing the girls. We don't have an actual bathtub in our hobbit hole so it's always a bit challenging. My baby gets scrubbed down in the kitchen sink with her older sister watching. And then we fill up a rubbermaid bin in the shower for my Kilmo-girl. She loves it. They both do.
I don't always. I see it more of a chore, something to get done right along with jammiesdiapersstorykissesgoodnight.

And then I breathe. 

But this last time I took a little time. I always make it fun for them, but I made it fun for me as well. I took time to watch how their eyes looked, and the sweet smell of freshly washed skin. I let them play a little, clad only in a towel and even that vanished when Kilmeny started dancing much to the delight of Khaira.

I laughed. I took some pictures, trying in some futile way to capture the utter essence of my girls in that moment.

 

I got the girls in the jammies. I gave them books to look at while I tidied up. I stopped and watched them. I love little ones in their pajamas, there's something so precious and huggable about them. They also tend to be rather cuddly at that time, whether they want the cuddle or just want to prolong bedtime is always up for debate!

I read Time for Bed and Good night, Moon. I brushed Kilmeny's teeth, and brushed her hair. I gave her a kiss and off she went to dream land snuggled on her Daddy's shoulder.
My baby was not going to go down so she joined us in the living room. While I was bathing the girls, Jared was out grabbing some stuff for our in-house date night. We sat on the living room and feasted on simple bread, cheese and prosciutto.

It was a pretty ordinary Saturday night but those ordinary times are the most beautiful to me and those are the memories that we look back on.  


Do you have a favorite bedtime story?

Coffee, Meltdowns, and a Few pretty Moments

 It has been quite the week. I think I could count the hours of sleep I've gotten on both hands. Okay, that's a little dramatic. But there hasn't been a lot of sleep happening around here making for some very long days (and nights) and an extra grumpy tired mummy. My brother in law stayed a few nights last week and he left us with some freshly roasted coffee beans. I think that was one of the best gifts I've gotten, timing wise. 

Khaira has been a different baby from Kilmeny from day one. And this last week was just one more example of their differences. Not that Kilmeny never had rough nights, oh no, there was one where she cried for 4 (count 'em, four) hours straight. Jared was performing at a concert and we were scheduled to fly very early the next morning, across the country. I was a wreck by the time the concert was over. I didn't think motherhood could get any worse. 

Enter baby number 2. 

Both of us have pulled hard together this week, cheering each other on in our fatigue and we've even made our running goals. 

There's been a lot of not-so-pretty moments, hello fatigue-induced meltdowns and the girls were also grumpy.

But, there have been a lot of beautiful moments. Moments that I probably would have missed had it been a 'normal' week. We explored a new park that we've always wanted to go to but never have before. Kilmeny got to run and run on the trails, we got to talk and talk and soak up the spring. I got to see bison wandering around without any fences, something new for me. I kinda made a big deal out of it, but seriously, it was so neat to see those large animals a couple feet from our van! So amazing! 

I felt like such a city girl as I stepped out into the wilderness park with my grande Pike Place in hand and going a little gah-gah over the beauty of the green haze adorning the trees. Hearing the frogs, smelling the damp woodsy underbrush, seeing wild strawberry plants and plantain leaves, feeling the warmth of the sun and the roughness of the log I sat on to feed Khaira did great restorative wonders. 

We've been taking each day a little more slow, my plans to be out and about haven't happened and that's okay. Emails didn't get written, blogging didn't happen (despite all my great ideas at 3 am, we're all brilliant then until tested by daylight), and meals sort of happened. 

But I've been free to meet my husband for a chai after work which of course sounds a lot more glamorous then the reality of it. He pushed the stroller home and listened to me talk. I was able to fully enjoy my massage, probably the best 60 minutes of self care I've had in a long time- so very thankful for benefits that cover massages. 

I got to see my little baby stand. She's all over standing right now and thinks it is the best.thing.ever. I love how adorable she is at this stage in her little onesies and her fat little thighs. 

I got to watch and listen to my toddler-girl as her endless imagination entertains her - 'this is the baby purple crayon and this is the mummy crayon. They're going shopping'.

Being a mum, it's this crazy, wonderful, incredible adventure. And weeks like this one bring that home. I'm thankful for these days with my girls, very glad that this week is over and now I have a date at the park to blow bubbles with my adorables. 

Have a wonderful weekend with all the moments, pretty and not-so-pretty!! 

And, if you read this far, thank-you. :-) I got a little wordy. ;-)

Blue Eyes and Green Grass

We've been spending a lot of time together lately, my little girl-baby and I. All through the night and all through the day. She's at one of her most needy stages and I'm the one who can answer her call. Her needs are small and simple. She just wants me. My love, my arms, my whispers in her ear, the knowledge that Mummy is here and that she doesn't have to be hungry anymore.

We went to church on Sunday, and although she was quite happy with her auntie for some time she fussed for me and then she just fussed. So we went outside. I didn't feel like making more of a big deal in a small building where anything and everything I did with her was very noticeable by everyone else.

So we chilled outside, my baby and I. She played in the grass, feeling its rough texture with her soft baby fingers each indented with an adorable dimple. She closed her eyes when the breeze played with her hair, and smiled in the sun's warmth. She talked about everything that was going on in her life through her little coos and noises. She laughed when I danced with her in the sunshine, feeling liberated by the hope of a dream taking root. I tossed her up into the air, her eyes a match for the bright blue sky that was her backdrop.

I walked with her along the country road, undisturbed and quiet except for a neighboring farmer fixing his roof. She fell asleep. And I smiled. That is one of the sweetest rewards for a mother. For anyone who cares for a child.

I know she'll sleep through the night at some point in her life. I know she will. I do whenever I have the opportunity and I'm sure my parents wondered if I ever would sleep all 8 hours. 
I know she'll sit quietly, and learn the appropriate behavior for different situations. So I try not to worry. I try to not stress that much about it.

I know these days will pass quickly and that is both a gift and a reminder to cherish the days. And I want to live each day with my little ones, knowing that being present with both my girls is one of the best things I can do. 

linking up with Mother Letters, a collection of letters written to mothers from mothers.
If you have not yet downloaded and read your copy, you need too. It is beauty.
www.motherletters.com

A little Soul Nourishment

We took a little time away, my man and I.
 We flew across the mountains to a place by the ocean, where winter's grip has lessened.
 We stepped outside to blue skies and fresh breezes and cheery yellow daffodils swaying in the wind.

 

I couldn't stop smiling. I took huge gulps of the fresh, salt-scented air, hearing the calls of the gulls, the warmth of the sun on my face and letting my spirit become quiet. I.love.the.ocean. It has always been one of my very happy places. I feel at rest inside and everything seems okay when I'm by the water.

We ate. A lot. We had a couple specific restaurants that we were really looking forward to trying as well as re-visiting some favorites. 

We took a lot of pictures, trying in some way to capture the beauty that surrounded us. To freeze those feelings.

We talked. A lot. Life is different when it's just the two of you and a happy, content baby without her spunky, never-sits-still older sister. We slept. We explored new places and got caught in the rain.

 We walked. A lot. Alongside the harbor, past the float planes, amongst the yachts.

We spent time, how much I don't even know, at an old favorite bookstore finding new treasures for our shelves and just soaking up the old book smell and perusing pages of old friends.

 

We spent time with family, talking and laughing and making new memories to add to the treasure box. 

It wasn't everything that I expected it to be, I'll be honest. There was a little detox that needed to happen, a lot of talking things over, and time to just be quiet and let it all sort itself out.

And in the end, it was all refreshing. I felt re-charged and ready to embrace life again with all its uncertainties, all its hopes and dreams, and all the everyday moments.

Friday Moments

 Fridays are for getting outside and enjoying the bright blue sky and soaking up the sunshine. For celebrating little things like first swing rides and being able to clamber all over the playground without fear. For hope and birdsong and the fresh smell of spring. For shopping with Mummy and sharing lunch with Daddy. For soaking up all the little, crazy, beautiful moments that make up life. 

Enjoy your weekend, friends, and all the lovely messy bits! 

Project 365 - Week 4

The Lovely Ordinary. Simple Beauty. Moments Captured. 

1. Khaira is such a sparkly baby, her big eyes are full of light and sparkles when she's happy which is most of the time. I feel blessed. 

2. I took some time to finally make Kilmeny's deepest wish (on that day) come true. We went sledding on the perfect sledding hill just across the street. She was delighted. 

3. Authors, the game of choice when my younger sisters in law come over. They baby sat for us on the weekend and spent the night so we could have some girl time of shopping, a tea party at which we ate tons of scones and giggled, and played Authors. It was a good day. 

4. Jared's brother had a birthday and we got to share in the cake and well wishes. A late night but totally worth it. 

5. An unexpected gift-time at Starbucks without my girls. I had to deliver a food order and a friend was watching my sleeping girlies. I was early for the delivery and got to enjoy a salted caramel mocha and people watch. Lovely. 

6. Middle of the winter blahs are made much better by fun food. 

7. Khaira is definitely sitting up now, by herself and very happy to be doing so.

 Enjoy your weekend, friends! All the lovely, messy, and unexpected moments.

Project 365 -Week 3

It's been a busy week, in fact it feels like a bit of a blur. I've been working a lot in the kitchen this week preparing food for clients which is fun but rather exhausting at the end of it all. I'm just so grateful for a husband who helps me wash mounds of dishes and for the fact that some of that kitchen work results in meals in the freezer for us as well. 

 Can I just say I love my iPhone? I have it with me all the time and use it almost all the time now to take pictures. I love how handy it is for snapping moments. 

1. This is probably one of my favorite pictures from last weekend and perhaps of this winter. Kilmeny has gotten so many comments on her bright red coat that we picked up for a few dollars at a thrift store. She's my little bundle of energy but with quiet moments like this one when she's enthralled with something new. 

2. We just got given a bunch of basically new cloth diapers and here's my little Khaira baby modelling one of the diapers. I do get the girls dressed each day but this was just too cute. 

3. Play dough at the kitchen table has been a sanity-saver this week. 

4. I love seeing Khaira's personality come out more and more! 

5. Kilmeny and Khaira. Kilmo's going through 'that stage' of faces for the camera, this one just makes me laugh. 

6. My little 'hope of spring' plant from Grama Ardron. I'm hoping I don't kill it off since I love ivy plants. 

7. We love Olivia books here, I've already started the girls a collection of the books by Ian Falconer. The simple illustrations and witty text gets me every time. 

 

A Little Mid-Winter Decorating

I've been doing a little decorating, a little re-purposing, and a little organizing lately.
This is the first house we've lived in where there's been an actual room to decorate and accessorize for Kilmeny and I've been quite excited about doing it. I like most peoplefind tremendous fulfillment in seeing an idea come to fruition.

Part of my purpose in doing this was that I wanted to get rid of the random baskets where I was storing her books, toys, blocks etc. Inspired by Pinterest I wanted to create a little nook for her to read and play. A place to spark her creativity and make her room an inviting place to spend time. As well as making it a little easier to keep tidy. 

The thrift store was the next stop where I got these three big pillows, intending to re-cover them at home. But that didn't really happen. They sat against the wall for a few days while I played around with different ideas. And then it was back to the thrift store I went to see what fabric I could find to cover them. I didn't find anything except a pair of pillowcases in the color I wanted. So I bought them.

Here's what I did:

Sorted through all the toys and books, putting some of the toys away in the closet and shelving some of the books.
Michaels was having a sale on baskets so I got three that would store the books, toys, etc nicely and that didn't scream 'kids room'.
I thrifted the pillows and the fabric. The ribbon is from my stash, I  had literal yards of the pink polka-dotted ribbon and have used it for everything. I used one of the pillow cases to cover a pillow, the other one sits forlornly waiting for another purpose.
I made the flowers one morning with Kilmeny 'helping' me which involved her emptying my fabric bin and thread and Khaira lying on the floor taking it all in.

Just to keep it all real, moments after these pictures were taken, the book basket was emptied, the cushions were in the middle of the room and both girls were quite ready to eat and have a nap. =)


Any projects on the go around your home?