Style Inspiration for a Tired Mum

For the days that just feel a little more then you can handle, like it's been one meltdown/tantrum/tears/mess too many and you're just done. 

For the days when your big girl 'naps' with your little girl and changes the dirty diaper and it all ends in one big mess. I spare you the details. 

For the days when bubble bath becomes so much more fun and sweet smelling when your shampoo is emptied into the bath water. 

For the days when the questions, both yours and theirs, don't seem to end. And there really isn't an answer to satisfy 'why'.

 Be brave. Step out in another area. Let it change your perspective. 

Get dressed, like really dressed. Put together an entire outfit. Try something new. For their sake as well as yours. 
Know that this one thing you can do, and you can do it well. 

And then, let yourself be changed. See yourself as the professional mother that you are.

See the endless questions of why as a thirst for knowledge and the budding of a curious mind. 

Delight in the utter wonder that modern washing machines are. Dirty at naptime, clean and cozy for bedtime. 

Revel in the cuteness of two little girls covered in bubbles. At least the shampoo was good for their skin and their hair and their tummies.


What new outfits are you trying out and rocking? (Because we all like inspiration and ideas!)

outfit details:
black and white striped tee: Joe (clearance)
shawl: gift
skinnies: Tommy Hilfiger 
boots: thrifted
scarf: Mystique India (Edmonton)

Transitions, Popcorn, and Making Memories

I lay with you tonight, until you stopped talking and your breathing slowed. You were in my bed, Daddy had to go back to Alberta to shoot a wedding and so it's just us girls hanging out for the weekend. 

You were wearing your 'workout jammies', a pair of sweats that you wear when you work out with me. You took your long sleeved pink tee off because you were just too hot. 

You flipped and flopped all over the bed. It's been a big day. It's been a big month and a half, so many changes and I forget sometimes that you're only two. 

We took Daddy to the airport and you wanted to go to. So badly. There were tears in the car. Yours, mine and Khaira's. 

I think somehow you see the airport as a magic portal. Like, if we just all step through the revolving doors life will resume normalcy again. 

It's hard, baby girl. I know, I understand. It's hard for me too. 

It's why we relax a little bit on some things, and why we maintain our family traditions. Reading the same books at bedtime, having special foods, and singing songs that we like and have always liked. 

We shared a bowl of popcorn tonight, actually it was a cake pan because we don't have our bowls with us yet. We watched a little movie, you, me and Khaira. We munched on carrot sticks and snuggled through the scenes of the screen. Khaira fell asleep quickly. You needed a little more time to unwind, you take in so much of what goes on around you. We talk about baby horses and jammies, about coloring and the swings at the park. You stroke my hair and share your blanket with me. You ask me if I'm cozy, I memorize this moment with you. 

It takes all evening for you to fall asleep and that's okay. 

Your breathing slows and you barely stir when I move back to your own bed. My own breathing slows and I feel peace. 

Enjoy Now

Enjoy Now. 

There's dozen of pithy quotes with this concept, I probably have half a dozen on my "good words" pinboard. 

I need them pinned on my head, on my walls, and on my girls' walls. 

I have these daydreams sometimes when I go for walks that both girls will fall asleep in the stroller, at the same time. They will stay asleep while I navigate the coffee shop, order my drink, enjoy it (while it's hot), and read for several hours. At the end of which time, they will wake up happy and I will be a content better person. 

(If I just crushed any of your ideas about me, I'm not sorry. Real life is so much better and messier)

But if those dreams were to come true, I would miss out on so much. So much life. 

I realized this the other day as I navigated the coffee shop with the stroller and two wide awake girls. I smiled at the other customers, no doubt breathing a sigh of relief that my coffee was to go. I pushed the stroller towards the water and onto the dyke, Kilmeny got out of the stroller and started running. Khaira was running with her in spirit, she is so close to walking everywhere and can't wait to keep up with Kilmeny that way. 

I breathed the rich sea air into my lungs and felt life taking hold again. 

We reached the corner, just where the rocks are piled perfectly to sit and the path is wide enough for two little girls to play on without getting in the way of other runners. I drank my coffee, and watched the waves beat against the rocks. I marveled (again) at the builders of the dyke and their determination to guard their farmland from the ocean. Khaira toddled from rock to rock, Kilmeny kept pace with every runner who passed us. 

It took the smiles of a passerby to make me realize the wealth I had, she shared a delighted 'oh, look at them go!' smile with me and I felt instantly validated for all those hours of being mom. 

We walked and walked along the cornfields. The girls did fall asleep and I did read. I sat on the farmland side of the dyke, the sun warming my face, and just read. My phone was off and away, I listened to the birds sing and said hello to the cyclists. 

I enjoyed it. 

I didn't know how long they would sleep for or how long I would be able to read in complete quiet. So I soaked it up and 100 pages later, when they started waking up, I felt refreshed. 

And I had a new motto, a new mantra. 

Enjoy Now. 

The toddles of my one year old, the snuggles, the fits, the stories, the questions, the crying, the raw reality of being here in this season. 

Tomorrow will be hard and beautiful and memorable too. 

To my Girlies

Oh, my girls....

Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how much richer you have made my life? Do you know the tears I shed over you, wanting to be a good mom, wanting to do the absolutely best for you?

Do you know that I will be the mama bear if anyone dares hurt you?

You fill my days with so much. I laugh at those who ask what on earth I do all day. Don't they know? Silly people. 

You are my canvases. You are my great life work. 

There is so much to teach you. The art of dressing well (which let's be honest, I'm still figuring out), knowing that flats go with dresses and skinnies. Your sneakers are for jeans. But sometimes, Kilmo you  show me your sense of style and totally rock your converse with leggings and a skirt. I love it. 

The delight in making and enjoying food. It's a gift to be enjoyed slowly and with care. Even if its just peanut butter and jam by the duck pond. 

And there is so much you teach me. That life is beautiful when we are together. That laughing together is the best antidote to grumpy days. 

You both love to dance and we've been dancing a lot lately. You know exactly how to get your current  favorite song on my phone and we twirl around the kitchen, to the sound of the British boys singing about beauty. 

I will always be here to hold your hand and then to let you go as you walk. 

You are loved, my princesses. 

Mummy

Traveling with the Kidlets ( and not going crazy)

I recently got back from a week long trip to visit my sister. My husband had to work so the girls and I went by ourselves. It's a decent day's drive, over and around the mountains into the province west of us. We did  the drive again (because we're crazy?) this week for some photo work and to spend more time with some of our favorite people.

In a couple of weeks (ah!!) we are going to be flying across the country to Nova Scotia. Flying.
With the same adorable, rambunctious little girls. 

We love to travel. It's one of the things we do as a couple and now as family. Rather then stopping altogether in the busy season with littles, we just figure out a new rhythm. 

Here's what we've found works for us:

Pack activity bags for the vehicle

These are often a collection of the girls' favorite books, the ones they like to look at over and over again. A few small toys that can be manipulated like an etch-a-sketch, an I-SPY bottle or a doll. I always make sure Kilmeny's sunglasses are in there, she likes to travel in style that one does. A favorite teddy and blanket are always close by as well. I avoid toys or books with any sound effects, hours in a small contained space with those sorts of toys would make us all go crazy. Agreed? 

Snacks and Drinks 

On my trip, we stopped by a grocery store on our way out. I grabbed some favorite snacks, ones that I don't buy all the time so they have that novel appeal. I also made sure I got Starbucks before heading out. 

Small containers work great for housing snacks like strawberries or chips and Kilmeny loves the idea of eating out of her brightly colored bowls. Small baggies of dried fruit and crackers work well as I can give the whole bag to the girls who can eat at their leisure without me constantly passing back another cracker. I made sure we were well-stocked in the food department for them and me so that if they were sleeping, I could just drive and drive. There were a few beautiful moments on my way home of driving through the mountains, sipping some hot tea and delighting in the rain amongst the trees while the girls slept.  

Keep it Fun 

Everytime I've driven somewhere long with the girls solo, I've always found a playground to stop at. I can feed the baby, Kilmeny runs around and plays, we all get fresh air. They typically fall asleep again after that little break which totally works for me. The novelty and delight of a new place to play is always worth that half hour (or less) it adds onto the trip. 

This last trip, Kilmeny was getting fussy and tired of being in her carseat until I gave her a fresh wipe. She 'cleaned' her carseat and then 'cleaned' everything she could reach. She was happy. I was happy. And it only took a few fresh wipes which under normal circumstances are not playthings. 

Make it Special 

 Something I'll be doing on future trips is packing a special surprise for each hour. It could be a snack, a new toy (hello dollar store!), coloring book/crayons, book, just something new and novel to pass the time away. Giving one each hour helps them to wait for it and keep their anticipation high.

There are some ideas, what works for you? Any new ideas on plane travel with two active little girls? 

Embracing the Messy {finger paint recipe}

The mess that goes along with being a mom at times makes me (inwardly and sometimes outwardly) freak out. The toys, the books, the stuff pulled out of cupboards, the outfit changes, the laundry. It's a constant balancing act of washing, tidying, and putting away.

 But this, this creative mess. I love it. 

The delight on their faces when they realize they can smear the paint everywhere. The mixture of colors that creates new color. The mess that comes when they create.

It's beauty. 

And their sodden pieces of paper are works of art.  

Simple kitchen ingredients come together fast to make the paint. It didn't keep the kids occupied as long as I thought it might but it was fun. I loved the bright colors and smiles as they oozed the paint everywhere. They loved being able to make a mess and create beauty.

What messy beauty are you embracing today?

Jammies and Rubber Duckies

It was a Saturday night. I was busy bathing the girls. We don't have an actual bathtub in our hobbit hole so it's always a bit challenging. My baby gets scrubbed down in the kitchen sink with her older sister watching. And then we fill up a rubbermaid bin in the shower for my Kilmo-girl. She loves it. They both do.
I don't always. I see it more of a chore, something to get done right along with jammiesdiapersstorykissesgoodnight.

And then I breathe. 

But this last time I took a little time. I always make it fun for them, but I made it fun for me as well. I took time to watch how their eyes looked, and the sweet smell of freshly washed skin. I let them play a little, clad only in a towel and even that vanished when Kilmeny started dancing much to the delight of Khaira.

I laughed. I took some pictures, trying in some futile way to capture the utter essence of my girls in that moment.

 

I got the girls in the jammies. I gave them books to look at while I tidied up. I stopped and watched them. I love little ones in their pajamas, there's something so precious and huggable about them. They also tend to be rather cuddly at that time, whether they want the cuddle or just want to prolong bedtime is always up for debate!

I read Time for Bed and Good night, Moon. I brushed Kilmeny's teeth, and brushed her hair. I gave her a kiss and off she went to dream land snuggled on her Daddy's shoulder.
My baby was not going to go down so she joined us in the living room. While I was bathing the girls, Jared was out grabbing some stuff for our in-house date night. We sat on the living room and feasted on simple bread, cheese and prosciutto.

It was a pretty ordinary Saturday night but those ordinary times are the most beautiful to me and those are the memories that we look back on.  


Do you have a favorite bedtime story?

Coffee, Meltdowns, and a Few pretty Moments

 It has been quite the week. I think I could count the hours of sleep I've gotten on both hands. Okay, that's a little dramatic. But there hasn't been a lot of sleep happening around here making for some very long days (and nights) and an extra grumpy tired mummy. My brother in law stayed a few nights last week and he left us with some freshly roasted coffee beans. I think that was one of the best gifts I've gotten, timing wise. 

Khaira has been a different baby from Kilmeny from day one. And this last week was just one more example of their differences. Not that Kilmeny never had rough nights, oh no, there was one where she cried for 4 (count 'em, four) hours straight. Jared was performing at a concert and we were scheduled to fly very early the next morning, across the country. I was a wreck by the time the concert was over. I didn't think motherhood could get any worse. 

Enter baby number 2. 

Both of us have pulled hard together this week, cheering each other on in our fatigue and we've even made our running goals. 

There's been a lot of not-so-pretty moments, hello fatigue-induced meltdowns and the girls were also grumpy.

But, there have been a lot of beautiful moments. Moments that I probably would have missed had it been a 'normal' week. We explored a new park that we've always wanted to go to but never have before. Kilmeny got to run and run on the trails, we got to talk and talk and soak up the spring. I got to see bison wandering around without any fences, something new for me. I kinda made a big deal out of it, but seriously, it was so neat to see those large animals a couple feet from our van! So amazing! 

I felt like such a city girl as I stepped out into the wilderness park with my grande Pike Place in hand and going a little gah-gah over the beauty of the green haze adorning the trees. Hearing the frogs, smelling the damp woodsy underbrush, seeing wild strawberry plants and plantain leaves, feeling the warmth of the sun and the roughness of the log I sat on to feed Khaira did great restorative wonders. 

We've been taking each day a little more slow, my plans to be out and about haven't happened and that's okay. Emails didn't get written, blogging didn't happen (despite all my great ideas at 3 am, we're all brilliant then until tested by daylight), and meals sort of happened. 

But I've been free to meet my husband for a chai after work which of course sounds a lot more glamorous then the reality of it. He pushed the stroller home and listened to me talk. I was able to fully enjoy my massage, probably the best 60 minutes of self care I've had in a long time- so very thankful for benefits that cover massages. 

I got to see my little baby stand. She's all over standing right now and thinks it is the best.thing.ever. I love how adorable she is at this stage in her little onesies and her fat little thighs. 

I got to watch and listen to my toddler-girl as her endless imagination entertains her - 'this is the baby purple crayon and this is the mummy crayon. They're going shopping'.

Being a mum, it's this crazy, wonderful, incredible adventure. And weeks like this one bring that home. I'm thankful for these days with my girls, very glad that this week is over and now I have a date at the park to blow bubbles with my adorables. 

Have a wonderful weekend with all the moments, pretty and not-so-pretty!! 

And, if you read this far, thank-you. :-) I got a little wordy. ;-)

Blue Eyes and Green Grass

We've been spending a lot of time together lately, my little girl-baby and I. All through the night and all through the day. She's at one of her most needy stages and I'm the one who can answer her call. Her needs are small and simple. She just wants me. My love, my arms, my whispers in her ear, the knowledge that Mummy is here and that she doesn't have to be hungry anymore.

We went to church on Sunday, and although she was quite happy with her auntie for some time she fussed for me and then she just fussed. So we went outside. I didn't feel like making more of a big deal in a small building where anything and everything I did with her was very noticeable by everyone else.

So we chilled outside, my baby and I. She played in the grass, feeling its rough texture with her soft baby fingers each indented with an adorable dimple. She closed her eyes when the breeze played with her hair, and smiled in the sun's warmth. She talked about everything that was going on in her life through her little coos and noises. She laughed when I danced with her in the sunshine, feeling liberated by the hope of a dream taking root. I tossed her up into the air, her eyes a match for the bright blue sky that was her backdrop.

I walked with her along the country road, undisturbed and quiet except for a neighboring farmer fixing his roof. She fell asleep. And I smiled. That is one of the sweetest rewards for a mother. For anyone who cares for a child.

I know she'll sleep through the night at some point in her life. I know she will. I do whenever I have the opportunity and I'm sure my parents wondered if I ever would sleep all 8 hours. 
I know she'll sit quietly, and learn the appropriate behavior for different situations. So I try not to worry. I try to not stress that much about it.

I know these days will pass quickly and that is both a gift and a reminder to cherish the days. And I want to live each day with my little ones, knowing that being present with both my girls is one of the best things I can do. 

linking up with Mother Letters, a collection of letters written to mothers from mothers.
If you have not yet downloaded and read your copy, you need too. It is beauty.
www.motherletters.com

Small Celebrations

I'm celebrating today. All the little things that make up my everyday life. The occurrences that happen and then they're gone. I'm choosing to celebrate today, in all it's realness. Join me?


My little girl painting her nails, I think she sported three different colors by the time I got to her. Is she not SO cute?

 

The fact that I can cook for other people. I get to do what I love and fit it around my girls' schedule. It also totally stresses me out, one of those ironic things about being an artist. We love it and we hate it.

My small kitchen. A total mess. I'm not even kidding. The counter is covered in dishes.

Kilmo had granola for lunch while I put the finishing touches on the client's dinner. She loves granola, I make it healthy on purpose, and it kept her occupied when I needed her to be quiet. 

My two healthy adorable girls. I love them more then I can say. All the crazy, frustrating, precious moments. Long nights, long days, and no naps. But they are worth it.

Tea. What can I say? Some days I drink a lot of tea, it's one of my little refreshments. Today was one of those days.

The fact that I have lots on my heart to write but I don't have the time except to do little bursts like this one. But, I can write while my girls dance in the living room. And their giggles give me fuel to go on, choosing to see the beauty in the mundane.

Oh, and that I can take pictures throughout the day and then edit them on my phone while I feed my baby. I.love.that.
Someday, I'll use the 'big camera' but right now I'm just glad to capture life.

My Little Mother

She's such a little mother, this little girl of mine. She loves her babies and doesn't sleep without them. She mimics my every move with my Khaira-baby, rushing for a blanket so she can put her baby to sleep when I put mine down for a little nap. 

She mothers everything, making them a baby in her imagination. She rocks the dumbells and tells me that 'baby blue' is sleeping. She covers a water bottle with a makeshift blanket made up of kleenex. 

Her imagination knows no bounds. Her creativity is endless. Her confidence is inspiring. 

I feel the weight of mothering her and her little sister, the responsibility of shaping and guiding these little ones. And I wonder at myself, am I being a good mum? 

I watch her, my little mimic, and see the way she nurtures and loves and cares for all of her many babies. And I know that she feels loved and nurtured and cared for and that everything else will be okay. 

As I publish this, we're getting ready to go away for the weekend, to Vancouver. To re-connect and refresh ourselves. My little girl is spending the time with her aunt and uncle and we're taking the Khaira-baby with us. 

Friday Moments

 Fridays are for getting outside and enjoying the bright blue sky and soaking up the sunshine. For celebrating little things like first swing rides and being able to clamber all over the playground without fear. For hope and birdsong and the fresh smell of spring. For shopping with Mummy and sharing lunch with Daddy. For soaking up all the little, crazy, beautiful moments that make up life. 

Enjoy your weekend, friends, and all the lovely messy bits! 

Paper Mache Spring Eggs: A Pinterest Inspired Project

I was inspired by the colors, the hope of spring, and the fact that I could actually make them. I pinned them to my 'spring' board way back in the middle of the winter and last week, on the first day of spring, I made them. In fact, I decided that we would make a tradition of celebrating spring day in some form every year. 
One needs a little party when winter lingers on.
We got a dump of snow the next day and resorted to wearing our winter woolies again but it was springtime inside the house. 
These came together simply and are the perfect activity to keep a toddler and baby busy and occupied. 

What you'll need:

Plastic Eggs
Tissue Paper
Blue and Green Food Coloring
Black Tea Bags
Beans, Rice or other grain to fill the eggs (or not)
Time

I combined a couple different ideas for these eggs. I love the idea of coloring eggs but I also wanted to do something that would last beyond just this spring and would make a good activity to do with Kilmeny.

I followed this fabulous tutorial for the eggs. Because I was dying the eggs, I went with all white tissue paper.
I let the girls play with the eggs and got Kilmeny to fill the eggs with some black beans while I made the paper mache mixture.
I divided the mixture into two bowls, adding 4 tea bags to one bowl and a couple drops of blue and green food coloring to the other bowl. Go easy on the food coloring, a little goes a long ways and you want the eggs to be light-colored. At least I did.
While the mixture cooled, I cut the tissue paper into strips and helped Kilmeny fill the remainder of the eggs. And then we taped those little guys all up.
 I also showed her how very cool it was that the eggs made noise when you shook them.

Then the dipping and covering of the eggs began. I didn't let the eggs dry between layers, I just kept dipping and wrapping and dipping and wrapping until the egg was all covered. I then made sure it was somewhat smooth and put it on a tea towel to start drying.
Once the eggs were all done, I left them on a cooling rack overnight. They took at least that long to fully dry. 

And we cleaned up. You may or may not have beans everywhere when you're done.

The next afternoon we splattered the eggs. I used about a tablespoon of brown craft paint and diluted it with water until I was able to get an even splatter with the toothbrush. You want to avoid too much paint on your brush otherwise it tends to make big spots which is okay if you like that sort of thing.
I let the eggs dry again, overnight, but really just a few hours is all that is needed.

And they were done. I love them. And so does Kilmeny.

Happy Spring!!