In which I break the silence and announce a new blog

It's been a long time since I've posted here, long in the internet sense of the word where everything is kept up to date to the second. 

It's been a good break, I've been living life and trying to be a little more intentional off-screen. 

We've unpacked and set up house, we've gone through final exams and papers, we've gone through a lot of coffee. 

We've had a deliciously refreshing Christmas break and we celebrated our little Kilmeny's third birthday. 

And now, it's back to school for Jared and back to routine for the rest of us. 

It's also a new year and a time for new beginnings which is why this will be my last post here. I've started a new blog, thisvintagemoment.com  and hope to share more photos, stories and life with you over there. 

I started this blog mainly as a place to share pictures and little bits about our days with our family and friends when we lived across the country from them. I'll still be sharing photos and stories about our life just in a different place and with a different focus. 

Thank-you so much for being here, for reading, for commenting (or not!), it's been lovely. Join me, over at this vintage moment where we make the most of the moments we have in a beautiful, simple, and intentional way. 

Enjoy Now

Enjoy Now. 

There's dozen of pithy quotes with this concept, I probably have half a dozen on my "good words" pinboard. 

I need them pinned on my head, on my walls, and on my girls' walls. 

I have these daydreams sometimes when I go for walks that both girls will fall asleep in the stroller, at the same time. They will stay asleep while I navigate the coffee shop, order my drink, enjoy it (while it's hot), and read for several hours. At the end of which time, they will wake up happy and I will be a content better person. 

(If I just crushed any of your ideas about me, I'm not sorry. Real life is so much better and messier)

But if those dreams were to come true, I would miss out on so much. So much life. 

I realized this the other day as I navigated the coffee shop with the stroller and two wide awake girls. I smiled at the other customers, no doubt breathing a sigh of relief that my coffee was to go. I pushed the stroller towards the water and onto the dyke, Kilmeny got out of the stroller and started running. Khaira was running with her in spirit, she is so close to walking everywhere and can't wait to keep up with Kilmeny that way. 

I breathed the rich sea air into my lungs and felt life taking hold again. 

We reached the corner, just where the rocks are piled perfectly to sit and the path is wide enough for two little girls to play on without getting in the way of other runners. I drank my coffee, and watched the waves beat against the rocks. I marveled (again) at the builders of the dyke and their determination to guard their farmland from the ocean. Khaira toddled from rock to rock, Kilmeny kept pace with every runner who passed us. 

It took the smiles of a passerby to make me realize the wealth I had, she shared a delighted 'oh, look at them go!' smile with me and I felt instantly validated for all those hours of being mom. 

We walked and walked along the cornfields. The girls did fall asleep and I did read. I sat on the farmland side of the dyke, the sun warming my face, and just read. My phone was off and away, I listened to the birds sing and said hello to the cyclists. 

I enjoyed it. 

I didn't know how long they would sleep for or how long I would be able to read in complete quiet. So I soaked it up and 100 pages later, when they started waking up, I felt refreshed. 

And I had a new motto, a new mantra. 

Enjoy Now. 

The toddles of my one year old, the snuggles, the fits, the stories, the questions, the crying, the raw reality of being here in this season. 

Tomorrow will be hard and beautiful and memorable too. 

In which my Khaira-baby turns One!

Khaira Tatiana Monique,

You're one today, baby girl. Crazy how fast a year goes. You were so little, so new and needy. My little blue-eyed baby, looking so much like your Daddy. 

Your blue eyes sparkle most of the time, your smile makes everyone else smile. 

We've shared lots of time together, you and I. Lots of cuddle time late at night, lots of walking in the living room, lots of crying for you and me both. 

And now you're growing up, sleeping by yourself and happy, so very happy. 

You love being close to me more then anyone else and I love that. 

Always stay close, baby girl. Always keep that sparkle alive, stay close to mama but stay closer to God. He will be your Rock and your safe place. 

We're so happy you're part of our family. You are loved and treasured. 

Happy Birthday, little princess! 

 

Bits and Bobs

Just popping in to share a few moments from our week. Tonight I'm typing on our computer while it is set up on a ping pong table in my in laws basement. It's become our temporary home base while we shift focus and locations.

Packing up the trailer with my brothers and sister in law. All of our stuff fits, yay! One more downsize and it will be ready to be moved to Nova Scotia. 

Hours spent in emergency with my girls and my very willing sister in law. Khaira has had a rough couple of months but we're hoping we've turned a corner. It was nothing serious but I've had my share of doctor's offices and hospitals for awhile. 

Saying goodbye to our little hobbit hole in Edmonton. I hate goodbyes and transition time is always hard for me. I took a few minutes while we were cleaning our place to sit and remember all the good and not so good times we've had, so thankful for this time in our lives and the memories we've made. 

Peonies. Gorgeous rain-kissed, fragrant blooms. 

Chalk drawing, bike rides, water fights, visits to the chickens/cows/sheep - we are all loving being at the grandparents! 

Tomorrow night is Jared's big recital , I am so excited for him! It's been an intense month on many different levels and we're both ready for a little quieter pace in July. Famous last words, I know. =) 

What's keeping you busy and happy?

 

Project 365 - Week 15

May 13- May 20

1. Just a moment with my happy girl and I. 

2. I was busy with Khaira and left Kilmo alone for several moments. I came in to check on her and saw  see her all quiet. The morning light was gentle and beautiful and she was totally absorbed in her books. I loved seeing it. 

3. A spontaneous invitation turned out to be the best of days. We walked, the girls played, we had a picnic lunch and then Nicole and I talked and talked while they all napped. Such a gift. 

4. My pretty girls on Mothers' Day. 

5. My sweet Khaira-baby, 9 months old. 

6. Kaden read Kilmeny a story one morning we were there. They were adorable, all cozy in the chair with the book and a doll. 

 
6. 

Sweet Simplicity

 Happy Friday!

May your weekend be filled with the enjoyment of sweet things and delighting in the simplicity of life! 

Small Celebrations

I'm celebrating today. All the little things that make up my everyday life. The occurrences that happen and then they're gone. I'm choosing to celebrate today, in all it's realness. Join me?


My little girl painting her nails, I think she sported three different colors by the time I got to her. Is she not SO cute?

 

The fact that I can cook for other people. I get to do what I love and fit it around my girls' schedule. It also totally stresses me out, one of those ironic things about being an artist. We love it and we hate it.

My small kitchen. A total mess. I'm not even kidding. The counter is covered in dishes.

Kilmo had granola for lunch while I put the finishing touches on the client's dinner. She loves granola, I make it healthy on purpose, and it kept her occupied when I needed her to be quiet. 

My two healthy adorable girls. I love them more then I can say. All the crazy, frustrating, precious moments. Long nights, long days, and no naps. But they are worth it.

Tea. What can I say? Some days I drink a lot of tea, it's one of my little refreshments. Today was one of those days.

The fact that I have lots on my heart to write but I don't have the time except to do little bursts like this one. But, I can write while my girls dance in the living room. And their giggles give me fuel to go on, choosing to see the beauty in the mundane.

Oh, and that I can take pictures throughout the day and then edit them on my phone while I feed my baby. I.love.that.
Someday, I'll use the 'big camera' but right now I'm just glad to capture life.

Savor the Day

"Once she stopped rushing through life, 

she was amazed at how much more

 life she had time for."

quote credit

A few snippets from our weekend away as I re-enter life with my two little girls, my man and the home we share. I have much more to share, soon, I hope! 

Enjoy the moments today! 

 

Project 365 - Week 9

April 2 - April 9

(sort of) 

This was an interesting week because halfway through Jared and I (and Khaira) flew to Vancouver. Kilmeny stayed with Josh and Ariana. And I didn't take that many pictures before we left so there's a little doubling up but hey, it's a journal of real life! 

1. All ready to go with Auntie Ariana, Kilmo cuddled her doll for a precious few seconds so I could get a non-blurry shot. 

2. MacLeods' Bookstore, one of our 'absolutely must visit' stops. We were able to buy a first edition Kilmeny of the Orchard for our Kilmo. Incredible! 

3. Blossoms and blue, blue sky!! Vancouver was such a gift!

4. Khaira, looking a little tired still while we wait for our breakfast. 

5. Our in-flight activities, giraffe for Khaira, coffee and a book for me. 

6. Kilmo is all into making faces for the camera now, especially since you can reverse the camera on my phone and see yourself. 

7. I am all into her adorable flats and pink leggings. She loves them too. And so she wears them a lot. 

My Little Mother

She's such a little mother, this little girl of mine. She loves her babies and doesn't sleep without them. She mimics my every move with my Khaira-baby, rushing for a blanket so she can put her baby to sleep when I put mine down for a little nap. 

She mothers everything, making them a baby in her imagination. She rocks the dumbells and tells me that 'baby blue' is sleeping. She covers a water bottle with a makeshift blanket made up of kleenex. 

Her imagination knows no bounds. Her creativity is endless. Her confidence is inspiring. 

I feel the weight of mothering her and her little sister, the responsibility of shaping and guiding these little ones. And I wonder at myself, am I being a good mum? 

I watch her, my little mimic, and see the way she nurtures and loves and cares for all of her many babies. And I know that she feels loved and nurtured and cared for and that everything else will be okay. 

As I publish this, we're getting ready to go away for the weekend, to Vancouver. To re-connect and refresh ourselves. My little girl is spending the time with her aunt and uncle and we're taking the Khaira-baby with us. 

Project 365- Week 8

March 26- April 1

1. We spent a lot of time at Moshers over this week. It is so fun to see Benji interacting with Khaira, she brings out his tender side. 

2. I love how the girls are just chilling in the middle of the kitchen floor with lots of hub-bub all around them. Kilmeny was reading the book to Khaira before she stopped for a little drink. 

3. We spent part of an evening with Yvonne, Avery and Jaylynn delivering a care package and visiting with them. They are such an inspiration to me as they fight with courage and peace. 

4. I created a French dinner menu for Josiah's birthday and helped to plate the salads. It turned out quite well. 

5. Making free form apple tarts.

6. Khaira one night before bed, just before we read Olivia.

7. Making full use of the rotating camera on my phone to get a group shot. Sort of. But I love it. 

Project 365 -Week 7

March 18- 25


1. On the first day of spring, we made spring eggs! It was such a fun project to do with the girls, a cheap way to decorate for spring and a great hands on activity.

2. I bought the girls matching sandals at a consignment store. Kilmeny loves wearing them around the house and she also loves to include Khaira in her fun. I can't wait for summer for them to wear them all the time!

3. Lunch was going to be a hurried affair after a morning out but I decided to make it fun for the girls and serve it up picnic style in the living room. They loved it! Kilmo was so cute at sharing her apple slices for Khaira to nosh on.

4. This is probably my favorite picture of the girls this spring. I was trying to get a sister picture at the park with them both looking and smiling but I liked this one the best of all the ones I took. This was Khaira's first real park outing and she loved it!

5. I walked up one day and met Jared for chai at the new Remedy Cafe. Best.Chai. Ever.

6. French braids in Kilmo's hair! And her cute profile.

7. I love shopping at the Italian Centre, this sign made me smile.

If I Just Have Today

I snuggled her a little closer, savoring the way her body still fit in my arms. I rocked and I sang, watching her little chest breathe. In and out. Her breathing slowed, she sighed. Contentment. Peace. I kissed her little cheek, so soft and round, whispered in her ear, 'I love you, my little Khaira Tatiana Monique'. She stirred just a bit as I laid her down in the cradle made of wood, made with love by her Grandpa. 

Moments earlier I had covered her older sister up, all cozy with blankets and dolls, whispered 'I love you' as I closed the door. 

 

 I want to remember these moments. These ones that everyone tells me go so fast. I don't want to blink and miss it all. 

If I just have today, I want to hold my baby and just drink her all of the little details about her. She's almost 7 months, where did that time go? If I just have today, I want to tickle my toddler and watch her as she giggles, mouth wide open, eyes all crinkled. I want to hear her say ' 'ix it, Mummy' when I still can, when all that is broken is a little toy easily put together again. I won't always be able to fix it, I won't be able to always just kiss away all her owies and right her little world again. 

There are no guarantees.

Children hoped for but still the cradle sits empty and the heart aches with grief and questions. Death, sudden and totally unexpected. He was so young, my brother's age, living a life full of possibility and now, he's gone. A grandma, called a queen by all those who knew her, tall and stately has said goodbye to her husband, leaving him to walk alone with his memories of a lifelong love.

We hope for fullness of life, we wish it for others, we sometimes take it too much for granted.

I watched parents cuddle their little son earlier this week, laughing together in the way parents do until their laughter was interrupted by the doctor. And the reality that they live with every day hit me. I heard the gentle rocking and whispering of a mother soothing her little one and was amazed to see all the tubes hooked up to such a little body. I watched two sisters chatting with each other, sharing another one of life's moments and deepening their friendship. The older leaning on the younger for support. I saw a beautiful girl just on the brink of womanhood, eyes still hopeful and bright but with a battle ahead of her as her body fights and her soul trusts. 

And so I take time. I lie on the floor, making direct eye contact with my baby and ignore the fact that the carpet desperately needs vacuuming. We make funny faces and take pictures. Our laughter fills the room. All that they say about having floor time with your toddler is true, it really is one of the most important things to do each day. 

I feel the fear subside. I breathe. Asking for peace for myself and for others. 

It comes. 

Heartache doesn't vanish overnight. 

Gut-wrenching grief isn't just wiped away. 

But there's a promise of peace in the valley, a light in the darkness, and God's presence to hold onto in the rocky storm. 

Project 365 -Week 3

It's been a busy week, in fact it feels like a bit of a blur. I've been working a lot in the kitchen this week preparing food for clients which is fun but rather exhausting at the end of it all. I'm just so grateful for a husband who helps me wash mounds of dishes and for the fact that some of that kitchen work results in meals in the freezer for us as well. 

 Can I just say I love my iPhone? I have it with me all the time and use it almost all the time now to take pictures. I love how handy it is for snapping moments. 

1. This is probably one of my favorite pictures from last weekend and perhaps of this winter. Kilmeny has gotten so many comments on her bright red coat that we picked up for a few dollars at a thrift store. She's my little bundle of energy but with quiet moments like this one when she's enthralled with something new. 

2. We just got given a bunch of basically new cloth diapers and here's my little Khaira baby modelling one of the diapers. I do get the girls dressed each day but this was just too cute. 

3. Play dough at the kitchen table has been a sanity-saver this week. 

4. I love seeing Khaira's personality come out more and more! 

5. Kilmeny and Khaira. Kilmo's going through 'that stage' of faces for the camera, this one just makes me laugh. 

6. My little 'hope of spring' plant from Grama Ardron. I'm hoping I don't kill it off since I love ivy plants. 

7. We love Olivia books here, I've already started the girls a collection of the books by Ian Falconer. The simple illustrations and witty text gets me every time. 

 

Project 365 - Week 2

We spent this past weekend in a little cabin in the mountains. It was lovely, refreshing, a literal breath of fresh air. Just what we needed. In all the bustle of getting everything together I didn't get a chance to put this post up before we left so I'm doing it now. 

Week 2: February 13- 20

1. Khaira sleeping with her little rosebud lips.

2. Kilmeny sleeping. The girls haven't been sleeping all that well lately during the night, colds and upset schedules seem to be affecting them. Naptime has been slightly hit and miss as well so on one of the days when they both slept at the same  time, I had to take pictures. To remind myself of these days and to remember just how precious they are. Even when we're all a little tired. 

3. Kilmeny loves to be 'just like Mummy' and so she had to read some magazines I picked up from my midwife. She loves to 'read' anything she can! 

4. In a quiet and contemplative mood. For about 5 minutes. I love my little spunky girl!

5. A community Valentines party provided the perfect excuse to wear my red shoes. I just love them, they make me feel like a well-dressed lady. ;-)

6. A little Valentine's inspiration along with my to-do list to make my dinner plans come together on time on the 14th. 

7.  We  were out and about last week with a couple different play dates which provided some new scenery and good conversation over coffee. Khaira's totally into these duplo blocks, I would be as well, the colors are fantastic. 

8. And a little shopping trip brought us to a store that had a beautiful display of jasmine plants which I had to take a picture since it's my niece's name. =)

Project 365 - Week 1

Project 365 is something I've been wanting to do for awhile and I just decided to jump in and start, right here in the middle of February. I tend to want everything 'just perfect' before embarking on a new adventure but that's kind of the point of adventures, you don't know how they're going to turn out. So here's to capturing 2012, one picture at a time! 

Here's a peek into this past week!

1. Kilmeny loves to run outside but she only likes it for about five minutes until she pulls her mittens off, eats some snow and realizes that is actually cold out. This is just after she started asking to go back inside.

2. Khaira has just started grabbing her toys, it is so fun to see her at this stage! 

3. We took an evening stroll through the Muttart Conservatory  Thursday evening and they had these gorgeous lanterns hanging amongst the trees. 

4. All dressed up and then bundled on the way to church.

5. Khaira-baby, cute, cuddly and wide awake at 10:15pm! I love these quiet evenings with her like this. 

6. Cousin time at Cafe O Play ! Kilmeny and her cousin, Kaden played so well together while their mums had some refreshing conversation about mum stuff, life, and all that good stuff. 

7. Kilmeny loves to help me whenever I'm busy in the kitchen so I try to be one step ahead of her and think of ways that she can help me. We both enjoy the process that way!

still counting...

I haven't sat down and recorded the gifts for some time now, it hits me when I stop and drink them, the beauty that happens right now all around me. And I want to make note of them but I don't always. So here's too grabbing a few minutes and jotting a few of them down. Because I don't want to forget all that I've been given. 

401-420

the fact that both my girls do often nap at the same time each day 

dirty dishes and dirty counters and dirty floors because real life happens here, every day

piles of laundry 

my two healthy, beautiful little girls 

family to give too

 books to read again and again (and again and again)

hot tea and shortbread

people to bake for

realizing that being happy is better then being perfect

a husband who encourages me to just live now, in this moment

my Mum's voice on the phone and sharing real life with her

snow-covered fields to pull my little girl's sled on 

the oh-so-Canadian sound of pond hockey

the sparkle of Christmas lights throughout the neighborhood and around our door

quiet moments of snuggle time with my baby 

singing to my toddler as she goes to sleep and the way her skin is soft and smooth

small celebrations of new recipes turning out great 

making my Nana's fudge, a time honored recipe

quiet and peace even in the busyness

Life. On Purpose

I get panicky sometimes. I feel like there is so much swirling around me and I just want to stay still and remember these moments forever. I am often reminded to treasure these days, these times because they go so fast.

And I want to stay and watch the afternoon light play across the face of my little four month old. Sleeping on the couch because she wouldn't sleep anywhere else but after some snuggle time with Mummy, she fell asleep and I gently lowered her on the couch. I love the way she frames her face with her arms. She's my thumb-sucker, that's for sure. She loves to comfort herself with her thumb or sometimes her whole fist. Must be a second-born thing. I was the same way. 

I want to watch and memorize the way my almost 2 year old dances every time she hears the music. I want to learn the melodies that she moves with. The way she closes her eyes and sways gently matching the emotion of the music. Or the way she leads out with her hand and twirls around the living room. Or the way she boogies it up when the music plays faster. 

I want to always be able to soothe my little baby the way I can now. Holding her all wrapped up like a little sausage, swaying back and forth, forwards and backwards, in a darkened room trying to get her to sleep. The way she pops her head up with her eyes so bright, just when I think she's asleep. And she's so cute and adorable and I'm so tired and frustrated but I kiss her and rock her some more. 

The way my little inquistive, doesn't-miss-a-beat, toddler is constantly 'helping' me. She runs for the other broom and helps me sweep the floor, the look of delight on her face outweighing the initial sigh of frustration as she sweeps right through my dust pile. Or she stirs up a bowl of dishwater while she's standing at the sink with me, filling the measuring cups up and dumping them in her bowl. Or how she runs for her doll when I put my baby to sleep and stands in the room with me, holding and rocking her dolly. And whenever my baby cries, she is right there with the binky. And when she cries, she asks for chocolate. (I seriously don't know how she made that connection. )

And oh, the words that she is amassing on a daily basis. And the way she copies us. "Help, you?" "Hold, you?" "Change, you?"

And the way we can relate, standing in a circle, relating story after story of our tinies. The laughter fills the room and my brother-in-law says it best, "oh the times, oh the times!"

They will go fast, I have only to look at my own younger brothers ( no longer little) to be reminded of this fact. It's about living each day intentionally. Making the most of each beautiful moment. And living in it. Not worrying about how I will remember everything and the memories I want to make and preserve. Holding the relationships with an open hand, drinking deeply of our times together.