Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Just Do One Thing

Do One Thing has become my new mantra. 

It has become my new way to live. 
I don't try and accomplish an impressive list of things each day so that I can look back at the end of the day and feel good about myself. 
I've stopped finding my worth in what I do.

I try to do one thing so that I can look back at the end of each day and remember the moments. It's not worth it if I get everything done while subtly pushing my little girl away or letting her fuss and whine simply because she needs some cuddle time. 

She doesn't see the importance of trying to make soup, sweep the floor, tidy the bedrooms, and get ready to go out for the whole day all in the space of an hour. Those things aren't important to her. 

And when her mummy breaks down and cries because at that point even doing the dishes seems overwhelming, she doesn't understand. So she brings her mummy kleenex for her nose, emptying an entire box in the process. 

I stop and realize that nothing is that important. The floors will get swept at some point, having lots of meals in the freezer would be nice but not something I need to worry over.

I can choose to do one thing. 

I can sew the backing onto a quilt and have lots of time left to read stories and cuddle on the couch. 

I can put homemade laundry detergent into jars to the accompaniment of little girl giggles as she kicks her feet against the washer. 

I can enjoy this time right now.

And when my husband comes home, I'm happy even if the dishes are still piled by the sink and there are books all over the living room floor. 

I wrote this the week before Khaira was born but obviously never published it. This is still my mantra, perhaps now more then ever before. Except I have two little girls to cuddle. I wrote this mostly for myself, to remind myself to keep everything in perspective, to be okay with imperfect and embrace the moments. Because they are beautiful and fleeting.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

snippets of thought

I hear music playing. 
Jupiter from The Planets by Holst. And I am transported to another place and another time. 
My eyes fill with tears as I remember the moments that transpired while that music played, out under a bright blue sky. Remembering how my eyes filled with tears then as I watched a beautiful girl wearing all white walk down the aisle on her father's arm. 
We all cried a little that day. 

It was beautiful. So very, very beautiful.
They said their vows to each other, written from the recesses of their heart. 
And I felt that we were all peeking in on a sacred moment. History was being written and we were all witnesses. 
The two of them together made everyone else smile because of their happiness. 

And every time that music is played, I will remember that day and all of its moments. 

Life is filled right now with moments that cause me to stop and catch my breath and try to take it all in. The sheer exhaustion at the end of the day and the way that cuddling my Khaira-baby relaxes every last part of me. 
The way my Kilmo-girl laughs and cries out for 'more, more' and we concede and the room is filled with the giggles of a little girl. 
The looks my husband gives me that make my heart beat a little faster and I find myself falling in love all over again. 

I'm here, still. Drinking up the moments, remembering that these are the days that so many memories will come from, knowing that I was made for this and wanting to live this time, this season to the full.

Drink up your moments and make those memories with your dear ones. 


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